Tears Have No Name
by B Cereus
Summary: The defeat of Voldemort is nigh. The Battle of Hogwarts begins and Tonks is with her son, worrying about Remus. The untold story of what happened to Tonks and Remus on the night that no survivor would forget. Tonks's POV. Deathly Hallows SPOILERS!
1. There's No Turning Back

**Tears Have No Name**

Author's Note: I know this has probably been done so many times. But there was this plot bunny that I could not get rid of and I had to write this. I've been heavily inspired by Within Temptation and the music from Pan's Labyrinth. This is only two chapters. This is also unbetaed. I hope you enjoy.

Summary: The defeat of Voldemort is nigh. The Battle of Hogwarts begins and Tonks is with her son, worrying about Remus. The untold story of what happened to Tonks and Remus on the night that no survivor would forget. Tonk's point of view.

Rating: T for language and violence.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

**Chapter 1: There's No Turning Back **

The music box was playing by the crib.

Nymphadora Tonks was fighting an internal battle.

She was twirling in Teddy's room holding him tightly in her arms, humming to him. A lullaby that her father sang to her when she was a child. The same lullaby that his nana from Spain sang to him at night when he was little. He always spoke very highly of her, a woman in the Spanish resistance against Franco. During a time, when there was very little hope. It seemed like one of those times right now.

Now her father was gone. When the terrible news came, she remembered that her mother did not talk to anyone for days. She locked herself up in her room, crying and mourning alone. It hurt that they didn't mourn together. She dearly missed him, and sometimes, she half expected him to walk through the front door any minute.

She often felt so selfish for wanting a bit of normalcy for herself. After all, why should she want something that no one else seemed to have? Her mother made her feel as if the only person she thought about was herself. That's why, in the beginning, she could never tell her about Remus. But maybe her mother was right. Here, she was with her son. Shouldn't she stay behind and make certain that her son had at least one parent to grow up with?

But she was so tired of staying behind and being left alone all the time. She had already done that. Two years of it to be exact. It was so hard to get across to Remus sometimes, but she never gave up. In the end, he came back to her, didn't he? He came back only to leave again. She thought of their last kiss and embrace nearly an hour ago, and she desperately longed for his touch.

She considered the odds; perhaps Remus might survive the battle. Then, she recalled the time she was talking to Moody. He was showing her the photograph of the original Order of the Phoenix. More than half the members were dead by now. The more she thought about it the more she knew that there was a strong possibility that Remus might not make it. She held back a sob, Alastor was gone too.

It wasn't fair. Her child deserved to grow up with two parents. Even one parent was better than none. But could she live with herself? She was an Auror. She was trained to fight evil. She wanted the suffering to stop, to put those responsible for heinous crimes away in Azkaban. She thought of Harry who grew up with no parents. He had lost almost everyone who was any sort of parental figure for him. How horrible did that feel? She could only imagine. Then, she thought of what Teddy would think later on when he were older. _You left Dad to die all alone._ No, but she was staying because she loved him. _You left him all alone._ Or perhaps, Teddy would be angry that they left him all alone. She bit her lip. _No, he will understand. He will grow up in a place where he doesn't have to worry about his grandmother and friends being killed._

_Long ago you all made a pact. Do whatever it takes to make sure we stop Voldemort. You were part of that pact._ She could not stay.

She mulled over the argument she just had with her mother minutes after Remus left for Hogwarts after hearing Fred's patronus.

_"This doesn't feel right, Mum! I'm going after him. I have to know that he's okay." _

_"Absolutely not. He told you to stay here and look after Teddy. What kind of mother are you, Dora? Are you trying to make Teddy an orphan?" _

_"Mother, a long time, you gave up everything so that you could be with my father." _

_Mother was a word reserved for heated arguments as was full names. _

_"Nymphadora, this is different!" _

_"You don't understand. You never accepted my marriage to Remus. But I finally found someone that completes me. I love him mother and nothing is going to change that." _

_"He left you! He abandoned you when you were carrying his child! He left you when you needed him the most!" _

_"But he came back, didn't he? He came back to me because he loves me!" _

_"What does that have to do with your son? Dora, he needs you. He needs someone to stay behind and protect him." _

_"I am trying to protect him!" _

_"How? By going to get yourself killed?!" _

_"A long time ago, mother, I promised I would protect the ones I love from evil. You-Know-Who is back and the world isn't safe anymore. We are all part of this world too, mother, whether you accept that or not. I made my choice as an Auror and as a member of the Order." _

_"How? In protecting a seventeen year old boy that may not even defeat He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? You're going to throw your life away for some boy?!" _

_"Faith, mother, faith! He's not just some boy! He's destined to kill You-Know-Who!" _

_"That's your husband talking." _

_"Mother, he saved us before, he will do it again." _

_"You're being selfish! You're leaving your son as an orphan because you can't bear to live without your husband! You're a coward!" _

_The rage built up inside of her and reached a breaking point. She flung something at the wall. It shattered like her fragile heart. _

_"No, Andromeda! You're the coward! Afraid of death." _

_"And you're afraid of being alone! So you leave your child to the same fate because you cannot deal with what must happen." _

_Andromeda took out her wand and pointed it at her daughter. _

_"What are you doing?" _

_"Remus told me you would try to leave. He told me to do everything in my power to stop you. That's what I'm doing." _

_That sly bastard. _

_"Stop that, Mother. You're being ridiculous!" _

_"Am I? I'm not the one who threw a figurine at the wall. I'm not the one who wants to run off and leave her son an orphan. I'm not the one being rash here. I just lost my husband, I'm not about to lose my daughter." _

_Tonks reached for her wand stuck in her back pocket, briefly thinking of Moody. Andromeda didn't notice. _

_"I'm sorry, Mother," she said as she whipped out her wand. "Stupefy!" _

_There was shock on her face, but she was too slow in blocking the spell. The jet of red light hit Andromeda in the chest, and she gave a cry as she fell back. Teddy started crying, and Tonks ran upstairs to comfort him. _

Her mother was still stunned, lying on the couch downstairs. She stopped twirling, the music had stopped.

Still humming, she looked down at the ring on her finger. Holding Teddy carefully in her left arm, she took out her wand and whispered, "_Geminio._" Another ring exactly as the first appeared on her ring finger. She took off the real ring and placed it into the music box that had stopped playing. The ring would be something tangible her son could remember her by. Then maybe one day when he was in love with a girl, that ring would be hers. Whoever she may be. A tear fell down her face.

She set Teddy down carefully between the covers, making sure he wrapped up tightly. The blue locks were poking out from the cap Andromeda made him. He was so beautiful. She reached over with her wand and enchanted the music box, so that it would keep playing music until someone closed the box.

Letting go was harder than she thought. A lump formed in her throat when the reality of it all sank in. She knew deep down inside that she would never see him again. She leaned over and gave Teddy a kiss on the cheek. He was sound asleep, unaware that when he woke his mother would never come back. Another tear fell down her cheek. "I love you, Teddy."

She knew there was no turning back.


	2. Stand My Ground

**Chapter 2: Stand My Ground **

She Apparated to Hogsmeade. Fred had sent information about the secret passageway through his patronus. She didn't think that the curfew would matter now. If anything, all the Death Eaters would have been recruited to go fight at the castle. She appeared in front of the Hog's Head and bolted for the door. The inn was filled with underage students and older students that had decided not to fight. The thought made her angry. _It is their school too. Cowards._

She went behind the counter, through the doorway, and launched herself up the stairs and burst into the sitting room with the fireplace. She saw a young man helping a friend through the portrait hole and down from the mantelpiece.

She startled them as she rushed forward, and climbed onto the mantelpiece. "Excuse me, sorry," she called out behind her. She ran down the stairs and through the passageway, slowing down when the passage began to rise.

Out of breath, she exited into the Room of Requirement and found Ginny pacing back and forth through the room. Her face lit up when she saw Tonks and she ran to give her a hug. "Tonks," she exclaimed. "I thought you were at your mother's!"

She nodded, "I was, but I couldn't stand the thought of Remus fighting alone."

She watched as Ginny's face flushed a red, and she muttered, "I know what you mean. Mum made me stay behind. It's killing me to wait here while Harry and the rest of my family go off to fight."

Naturally, Tonks sympathized with Ginny. She was almost tempted to convince Ginny to come with her, but the thought of incurring Molly's wrath, made her re-think that. She did not want a guilt trip from Molly Weasley, out of all people, if something were to happen to Ginny.

The wall melted away and an old witch wearing maroon robes and a moldy hat with a stuffed vulture on top wobbled into the room. She quickly surveyed the room and her eyes settled on the two of them. She spoke to Ginny first, "I take it that you're Ginny Weasley." Ginny nodded, surprised at being recognized. "Neville has told me so much about you." She paused, seeing Ginny's confused look. She exclaimed, "I'm Neville's grandmother."

Her eyes settled on Tonks. "And you my dear?"

Tonks held out her hand, honored to meet the little old lady that escaped a Death Eater attack. "Wotcher, I'm Tonks. We heard about your escape. Incredible!"

Neville's grandmother beamed. "They thought they could take me out just like that. They should know better that it takes more than just a lot of Death Eaters to take out the grandma of a boy who started a resistance with two of his friends." Her eyes sparkled at Ginny.

That's when Harry walked into the room to find the three of them talking. Her heart began racing and she blurted out, "Is everyone okay?"

Harry answered, "As far as we know. Are there still people in the passage to the Hog's Head?"

Tonks raised an eyebrow, that was an odd question to ask. She watched as Neville's grandmother and Harry exchanged a few words before she teetered off to go help her grandson. Then, he looked at her and inquired, "I thought you were supposed to be with Teddy at your mother's?"

She was going to scream, if she had to answer that question one more time. "I couldn't stand not knowing. She'll look after him. Have you seen Remus?"

"He was planning to lead a group of fighters into the grounds..."

That was all she needed to hear, enough time had already been wasted. She ran to the corner of the room, through the cupboard and ran up the stairs, ignoring the stitch in her side. She came to the wall at the end of the staircase and exited the room.

She spilled out into the corridor as an explosion shook the walls and ceiling. A window shattered several feet from where she lay, and green bolts of light began zooming in. _Those bastards._ She leapt up and ran to the shattered window, dodging spells. She saw a group of hooded Death Eaters trying to breach the side of the wall. Taking safety beside the window, she aimed a curse at one closest to her.

"Tonks!" She turned around to the sound her name being called and saw Ginny running towards her. They both dove for the ground as another explosion rocked the side of the castle, jarring the walls. She could hear the sound of stone crumbling somewhere.

"Ginny, what are you doing here?" Tonks exclaimed, thinking of what Molly would say.

Ginny shook the dust out of her hair and stood up, "Harry said that they had to use the room really quick. Something really important."

Tonks smiled as she got up. "Your mum can't argue with that."

A spell whizzed past their faces, reminding them of the Death Eaters outside. They carefully approached the window and Tonks peered out. "Oh gods, there's a bunch of them. Our lot has already engaged them." She aimed a spell at a random Death Eater in the crowd. Ginny peeked out from the other side of the window and picked a target, firing a hex.

Then they saw the tiny giant walking towards the disturbance wielding a stone gargoyle from the castle. They heard a voice behind them in the corridor say, "Let's hope he steps on some of them!" They pulled away from the window and saw Ron, Hermione, and Harry standing in the corridor.

Ginny blurted out, "As long as it's not any of our lot." She went back to launching spells down at Death Eaters in the crowd.

"Good girl!" called another voice heading down the hallway toward them.

Tonks saw Aberforth leading a group of students past them. She jumped at the opportunity to obtain news. She shouted after him, "Have you seen Remus?"

He turned and called out, "He was dueling Dolohov, haven't seen him since!"

Ginny must have seen the look of horror on Tonks's face because she tried comfort to her. "Tonks! Wait! Tonks, I'm sure he's okay..."

But Tonks could not wait to hear comforting words. Time was running out and she could only hope she would find him alive. _Oh please let him be alive._ She ran after Aberforth.

Running down the hallway toward the front entrance of the castle, she engaged a hooded Death Eater that had managed to break in through one of the old passageways. She forced him down into a dark corridor, the only light coming from their wands. She kept relentlessly shooting off spells, and he kept blocking them. _I don't have time for this._

She recognized the corridor and remembered that there was a staircase at the end of the hallway that had a missing step. One too many times, she had gotten stuck in that staircase during her school years at Hogwarts. She would sometimes spend hours trapped there until someone came along who could help her out. _This might this just work_.

She kept unleashing spell after spell at the Death Eater, until she had pushed him back into the staircase. He slowly descended the stairs, one foot behind the other, so busy blocking spells that he didn't notice a thing. Not until one foot went straight through the missing step. He tried to pull his foot out but he lost his balance and his whole leg went through the step. Trapped, he was unable to pull himself up and he was quickly disarmed.

Smirking, she ran back through the hallway she just dueled in. She followed a staircase down to another corridor that had students guarding the windows. At the end of the corridor, she spotted the marble staircase and leapt down the stairs, skipping several steps at a time. The entrance was guarded by an assortment of statues, suits of armor, and random bewitched items such as buckets, brooms, desks, and chairs. They allowed her passage to the outside. Nearly out of breath, she paused a few seconds to survey her surroundings before bounding down the stone steps onto the grass.

There were people and creatures everywhere. Voldemort had literally put all the resources he had at his fingertips into fighting this battle. Somehow, some of the students had managed to sneak out onto the grounds as well and she had a suspicion that most of them were not of age. She looked up at the sky and swallowed hard. Several dementors were soaring around the perimeter of the castle grounds. She ran into the thicket of chaos, frantically looking for her husband. She started to panic when she couldn't find him. _Where is he? I have to find him!_

Running through the grounds, she unleashed several hexes upon Death Eaters that got in her way, still looking around for signs of Remus. Then she saw him. He was fighting with Dolohov just like Aberforth had told her. With a fresh burst of adrenaline, she burst forward, almost forgetting she was in the middle of crossfire. Remus had just sent Dolohov flying onto the grass. It looked like he had been knocked unconscious. Satisfied, he turned to help two girls that were engaging Stan Shunpike.

She was about to call out his name when she saw Dolohov rise again. His back was to Dolohov and he was unaware that Dolohov was still conscious. Her first reaction was to set Dolohov on fire, but he was too far out of range for her spell. It was like watching a car crash about to happen, powerless to stop it. In desperation, she screamed at the top of her lungs, "REMUS, WATCH OUT!" But it was too late. He slashed his wand at Remus and the curse stopped Remus in his tracks, his hand flew to his heart. He didn't even have a chance to turn, to look his attacker in the eye, much less to look at her.

Time seemed to slow down to her, but she knew it wasn't possible. Time was impervious to tragedy, pain, and horror. Remus fell to his knees, and for a fraction of a second, it seemed that he would stand up again and continue dueling. His body crumpled forward and did not move anymore.

"NO!" She felt as if she had been stabbed through the heart with a dagger. Dolohov's bloody twisted face gave a small smile and he pushed forward toward the front entrance of the castle. Their defense was failing, and the Death Eaters were gaining ground, getting closer to the entrance. It would soon be breached. Tears were flowing. She tried to stop them, but they kept coming and they blurred her vision. She let out an anguished cry and recklessly ran forward. _He can't be dead!_

She tripped on something and fell face first into the grass. She looked over to see what she had tripped on and she saw a young girl lying in grass. Her light brown hair was dirty and tangled, leaves trapped in it, and there was blood splattered all over her face. Tonks started to screamed, quickly biting down on her hand to muffle the sound. The body was cold to the touch.

The tears came faster and her breathing quickened. The anxiety was pressing in on her from all sides. There was no uncertainty about it. She had come here to die. There was a tiny hope inside her mind that perhaps Remus would survive and even if she died, it would be okay. Now that hope had gone with the changing winds.

As she sobbed into her hand, she thought of how quickly Remus rushed off to battle. Did he know he was going to die? Did he know that she would follow him to the battlefield? He had thought that she was safe back at her mother's taking care of their only son. Did he know that she would die as well?

_Your anguish doesn't matter anymore. _She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and willed herself to stop crying. She could not let her emotions get in the way of her purpose. She had given everything up to be here. Self-sacrifice and her own selfish desire got her here and she accepted that was there no turning back once she made the decision. She pushed her thoughts away into the back of her mind, if only for a while, if only to be strong for a little while. Be strong for Harry. For Teddy. _Stand your ground._

A spell whizzed above her head and something splintered, raining down chunks of wood and stone. There was debris everywhere. She forced herself to her knees and looked around for the source of the curse. She saw the large blonde Death Eater dueling a quartet of underage Slytherin students. She called out, "Hey, you bitch! Pick on someone your own size!"

She fired off a stunning curse that missed him by inches. It was enough to gain his attention. He turned to look at her, his face squinted in recognition. He raised his wand to fire a spell at her, but Tonks was quicker and she sent him flying several feet away donning a new swollen face sprouting what appeared to be iron nails.

The nearest boy exclaimed, "Whoa, that was wicked!"

"_Avada Kedavra_!" The boy's face was stricken with shock. His body was lifted off the ground and came crashing down a few feet away. Tonks watched helplessly as his companions fell to the ground, shaking the body, screaming, "Nicholas!"

Tonks whipped around and saw Bellatrix standing several feet from her, looking victorious. She cried out, "I got the filthy blood traitor!" Before she could cast the Killing Curse again, Tonks flicked her wand at the boys. "_Protego_!" The remaining three boys were pushed back by the shield. Tonks screamed at them, "RUN!"

The ten-second delay she took in casting the spell allowed Bellatrix use a curse to knock Tonks to the ground. She felt a hot searing pain down her spine and her muscles began to spasm. The muscles in her hand locked, pain receptors went crazy, making it difficult to keep the grip on her wand. As she lay on the ground, trying to control her muscles, Bellatrix tried to use another spell against her. It took all her best efforts to use her wand to block it. Her joints started to ache and she found her grip slipping on the wand. She attempted to fire a hex at Bellatrix, but she blocked it.

She laughed, walking closer, "You are weak! If I had the luxury, I would cut the monster you are carrying out of your filthy womb."

As her hands contorted in pain, Tonks willed herself to keep firm control of her wand if only for a few seconds. It allowed her to launch a spell at Bellatrix, catching her by surprise, knocking her to the ground, "You're too late. He's safe." It bought her enough time to perform the counter-curse on herself. Something in her head told her that she needed to get to Remus's body. She forced herself to stand, and she ran for it. Bellatrix wasted no time in shooting another curse at her, but Tonks blocked it. Bellatrix saw where she was heading.

Bellatrix stood up, shaking her head wildly. She jeered, "Did you watch your precious werewolf die? Did you see him gasp for his last breath of air?"

Tonks could not help herself, she stopped and turned to look at Bellatrix. She could not stop the torrent of emotion welling up inside of her chest and the tears threatened to come forth again.

"Is the little itty bitty freak going to cry now?" Bellatrix screeched, mockingly.

Several tears fell down her face. "He died a brave man."

She no longer smiled. "You filthy whore! You will join your husband in hell. And when you're dead and when my Lord kills the Potter boy, I will find that half-breed you call a son and erase him forever!"

Tonks laughed inside at the irony of the situation. She would meet her death at the hands of her own aunt, but Bellatrix would never lay hands on her child. She was more certain now than ever that winds of change were near. She wiped her face and whispered, "I'm not afraid of dying, and when I'm gone there will be others to take my place. Believe me though, your time will come."

They dueled for several minutes. Bellatrix fired spells off at such an alarming rate that all Tonks could do was block them. This seemed to make Bellatrix even angrier, and she concentrated on making her spells even deadlier, and Tonks found the following ones harder and harder to block.

Then, she shouted a spell at the same time that Bellatrix shouted hers. Her red jet of light met Bella's purple jet of light in the center between them and the lights merged and flashed back out towards both women. The force of their combined spells sent the two of them flying apart from each other and their wands soaring into the air. Tonks slammed against a fallen gargoyle, pain shooting through her back. Her wand landed several yards from her. She started to lunge for it, but she was too late.

Bella had landed on the grass, also separated several yards from her wand. Blinded by emotion, instead of picking it up, she launched herself at Tonks, tackling her. Bellatrix used her knees to pin her niece down to the ground before she could reach her wand. Tonks began to thrash violently, desperately trying to escape. Bellatrix wrapped her hands around her neck and began to squeeze.

She felt her windpipe constrict and she frantically tugged at the hands that kept gripping her neck. She could feel Bellatrix's ring digging into the skin of her neck. She was looking up at her aunt's face, contorted in glee and satisfaction. The veins throbbed in her head and the darkness crept in. She was sure that her face was no longer its normal color. In a last act of desperation, she clawed at Bellatrix's hands. As her muscles were starved of oxygen, she could feel the life slipping away from her. She thought of Harry, for he was the one they were ultimately protecting. She thought of poor Remus, his cold body lying on the ground. She thought of her mother, lying back at home, unconscious. She thought of little Teddy sleeping in his crib, safe from all the troubles in the world. It was her sacrifice. It didn't make it any easier, but she knew that this was how it had to be. Victory came with sacrifice. Tiny capillaries in her eyes burst. The darkness began to close in as her brain was deprived of precious oxygen. Her hands slipped from the ones still enclosing her neck and fell limply to the ground. Darkness engulfed her and she knew no more.

Bellatrix kept strangling the lifeless body, even after the hands fell limply onto the ground, and the eyes fluttered shut. She didn't stop until she was sure she had killed her only niece. She screamed in joy, elated at her success of purging another rotting fruit from the family tree. She didn't savor the moment long, for the entrance had been breached and they had a castle to take. By now, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were heading to the castle's entrance with the intention of going to the Shrieking Shack.

Miles away, Andromeda's eyes flew open. Terror gripped her mind, for in her heart she already knew the fate of her daughter. Then, she heard Teddy crying upstairs. The music box had closed.


End file.
